This is not to publicise my art. This is not to showcase my work. This is just to pay my tribute to art. I think I owe it to art , as, through it, I have been reborn and have found a second childhood , which is even better than my first and chronologically real childhood.
A few years back, I was fumbling with life. I didn't have any direction. I was not in the reckoning in life's books. I was just another speck, another pebble maybe, which got swept from here to there. I was following life's forces and trying to get a grip over life. Life looked grim. Life looked bleak. The only colour I saw then was definately black . I was fighting life and trying to cope with what it dished out to me. I somehow won the war and was trying to rest in the recess till the next episode began. As they say, fights wear you out and deplete you of energy. I needed a fountain to re-charge. A fountain which will quench my thirst without asking for anything in return. That was the time I picked up my first box of paints, a canvas and a few brushes after many years. As I spread colours on the canvas, my life changed. I lived life on my canvas. It gave me delight and joy. The sense of joy I had when I completed my first painting was comparable to the same when I was a child and would get something I loved dearly. My life was dull so I compensated for this by making idyllic and bright paintings.
I also painted out my angst on the canvas. Each canvas enlivened me. I soon became a child.I had unleashed my troubles on the canvas and I was also painting my desires on the canvas. I started being in a constant state of excitement. I either had something half done on the canvas or something in my mind that I had to paint. I loked at everything and everyone as a potential subject. Each one was a potential candidate to be captured on the canvas. The flowers, the trees, the people, their postures!
The upsides of art:
I have met many interesting people through art. I saw a different set of people , who were as excited as I was. They lived for their art and they lived through their art. They all had one common streak- delight. Some of them were talented artists, who were struggling to find their own. Some of them were arrived painters. But it didn't matter. The medium was common- colours and the language was one.
My paintouts became exciting events. I greatly bonded with people from all age-groups. The preparation for a paintout can be far more exciting than a vacation! Packing tubes of paints, easels, rags, tissue and food to accompany was delightful and the camaraderie that flowed through these sessions was great! I would be exhilarated and ready to face my workplace the following morning.
Art has humbled me as a person. I got to see great talent everywhere and understood that inspite of that, there is a lot of competition and it's not everyone who makes it big as an artist.
My colours of life changed from black to reds, chromes and blues! I was living life on the canvas, splashing colours. The canvas started being my kingdom and I owned it with my own story! It gave me an independence which was sweet and confidence which was more than ownership.
Art gave me respect. A lot of respect. It has changed the way I connected to people. I realised I was influencing people with my excitement. Many wanted to draw or paint.
Art gave me refuge. I am clingy about art. I learnt that people came and walked out of my life, which led to pain. But art can never leave me. it will never judge me. I will never leave art. It is mine. There is a lot of security that it offers. If I am lonely, I fish out my sketchbook and draw. i get delighted . I feel excited, child-like, re-freshed. The delight others receive from what I have painted is even more enriching, as it adds to the exhilaration!
I am a child. An eager learner. I have walked this earth for six years only. But it's been a world full of brightnes, cheer and wonder! Art has nurtured me and loved me and taken care of me. It hasn't failed me and never will! Tribute, as I pick up my easel and my brushes to spread on the canvas!
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